Chapter 9

In senior year, I finally got the prescription glasses I needed.

I threw myself into even more intense studying.

Ethan also became more and more blatant.

He started bringing me milk every morning, taking it out of his jacket still warm.

The boys in class would tease him. He'd furrow his brow and kick at them: "Get lost!"

I never understood why a boy like him would like me.

Until after we got together, I once asked him this question. He laughed: "You're different."

I looked at him, and he explained further: "After we became desk mates, you didn't say a word to me for half a semester. I wondered if this girl was mute. You spoke up plenty in class, so I thought maybe I had offended you somehow."

"Then I observed and found that you didn't really talk to anyone, but you had good grades and the teachers liked you. I also noticed you had a standard baby face, obedient to a fault. When you glanced over during self-study, your eyes were so timid. My heart started racing, pounding like crazy. I thought, oh no, not only do the teachers like you, I think I like you too..."

He wasn't telling the whole truth.

Besides liking me, he also pitied me at first.

Everyone in class knew that Lucy the study committee member came from a poor family and her father was a vegetative patient.

When collecting class fees, the teacher would always say: "Lucy doesn't need to pay. Her family's circumstances are difficult."

The teacher meant well.

But in those moments I would always lower my head, my face burning.

Because I had overheard Janie and others gossiping: "The teacher just plays favorites. She's not the only one with difficult circumstances. It's just because her grades are good. Always acting so pitiful, pretending to be a pig to eat the tiger."

I think Ethan's fondness must have been built on pity too.

Otherwise he wouldn't have gone to such lengths to be nice to me.

Secretly adding money to my meal card, stuffing chocolates in my desk. He even looked up my information and bought me a pair of brand name shoes for my birthday.

I felt ashamed. It was that deep-seated kind of shame.

Because I knew the canvas shoes on my feet were falling apart.

He secretly put the shoes in my bicycle basket after school.

When I went to return them to him, my eyes were already red...

It was unbearable.

In class, he leaned close to me again, lowering his voice to ask -

"Lucy, how bad is your nearsightedness? Where did you get your glasses?"

"...Why?"

"Your glasses look pretty good. I was thinking of asking if people without nearsightedness can wear them too."

"Why would you wear them if you don't need them?"

"No reason. Just want to match you a bit."

Ethan was always like this, so blatant.

I was terrified, afraid the classmates in front and behind would hear. I looked at him with a red face, only to see the young man's open and frank eyes. He raised his thick brows and grinned at me.

He was undoubtedly passionate, always fearless.

But I couldn't bear this passion. I said to him: "Do you really like me that much?"

When I asked, my voice was very low and my face was burning hot.

He was stunned for a moment, looking around as if suddenly feeling guilty. He leaned in close over the desk to look at me, his ears turning red: "You're being so direct all of a sudden. You're making me embarrassed."

"Really, Lucy. I really do like you. I swear."

During self-study, his pitch-black eyes looking at me were bright and clear, seeming to contain glimmers of light.

18-year-old Lucy gripped her textbook tightly, suddenly not daring to look at him. Fighting back her nervousness, she said with a red face: "Then get into the same university as me. If you do, I'll be with you."

Her voice was as soft as a mosquito's.

But he was close enough to hear clearly. After a few seconds of silence, he suddenly exploded: "Damn it, why didn't you say so earlier?! There's less than a year left. You think I'm a god? Give me your books!"

In my mind, Ethan's grades weren't good enough to get into the same university as me.

This was just my excuse to reject him.

But I never imagined that Ethan the slacker would become a completely different person in our senior year.

He started studying like crazy.

Later I found out he wasn't actually bad at studying. He just couldn't be bothered before.

His family was much wealthier than I had imagined. His parents had already paved a smooth road ahead for him.

He was very smart, the type to understand things quickly.

With money, he enrolled in the most expensive tutoring classes. Then as if possessed, he buried himself in studying.

The result was that a year later, he actually got in.

That summer, Ethan didn't show up.

Apparently because he did well on the exam, his parents forcibly took him abroad to visit relatives.

I wasn't idle either, still working part-time jobs.

A big incident did happen during that time - Cathy got into a fight with Howard's wife.

Then his wife called a bunch of her family members. They dragged Cathy out to the street and stripped her clothes off.

They were also cursing: "You wanted to strip, didn't you? Strip it all off then! If your daughter was here today, we'd strip her too!"

Because of that comment, I trembled all over and went to stay at my aunt's house for a few days.

But when I returned home, I found that although Cathy hadn't left the house for several days, she hadn't been idle. Like a madwoman, she spent all day cursing out the window.

All those unspeakable words were curses directed at Howard and his wife.

After the incident, Howard never showed his face.

And my dad, because he hadn't been turned over in so long, developed bedsores. There was a terrible stench.

Amid the endless cursing, I broke down over and over.

I cried as I cleaned my dad's withered body, thinking to myself: Dad, why are you still alive? Please find peace soon...

My aunt said not to worry about going to college, she would come check on dad every day.

Everything seemed to be settled, so why was I still so vicious?

18-year-old Lucy was once again wishing for her father's quick death.

I had been taking care of him since I was 16, cleaning every part of a paralyzed man's body. Bowel movements, urination - from being scared to becoming skilled.

From being skilled to feeling numb and despairing inside...

I wished for him to live, wished that one day I could push a lucid him to eat a bowl of old-style soup noodles.

I also wished for him to die, to free both him and me.

It had only been three short years, so what exactly is human nature?

...

After school started, I saw Ethan.

He came straight to find me at the girls' dormitory.

As blatant as ever, smiling arrogantly.

After the long summer break, he had tanned a bit, but still had that sharp-featured face.

I had read in a book that this type of appearance was called "ghost-fearing".

Piercing eyes and sword-like brows were said to be the look of a general commanding troops for thousands of miles.

His eyebrows were especially thick, slanting upwards in straight lines - open and aboveboard, but also very authoritative.

This kind of person lives in the light. Whether doing good or evil, they seem to act on a whim.

He was undoubtedly eye-catching.

Under my roommates' curious gazes, I lowered my head and pulled him outside.

He took the opportunity to hold my hand.

Under the phoenix trees on campus, I broke free from his grip.

He refused to let go, smiling triumphantly: "Lucy, you're not going back on your word, are you?"

I kept my head down, silent. My meaning was clear - I was going back on my word.

He bent down slightly to look at me, the smile slowly fading from his lips. His eyes took on a somewhat dangerous look: "I'll let it slide if you keep rejecting me no matter how long I chase you. But agreeing and then going back on it is toying with me. I'll get angry."

My face instantly turned white.

Of course I knew Ethan didn't have a good temper.

He was quick to fight and hit hard. I remembered clearly how he had kicked that guy in the cafeteria.

He feared nothing. It was only when pursuing me that he smiled at me, holding back that overbearing and sharp aura.

I didn't know if he hit girls, but I was definitely scared. With a pale face I said: "I'm not toying with you. I just feel..."

Before I could finish, I let out a cry of surprise.

This guy had directly picked me up into his arms, cupping my face in his hands to make me look at him.

I stared at him with wide eyes: "What, what are you doing?"

He smiled brightly and leaned in to peck my lips.

I was stunned, my mind going blank.

His pitch-black eyes were unfathomably deep. He pushed his tongue against his cheek and said seriously: "Stamping the seal. From now on you're mine."

The phoenix trees on campus stretched in rows, their leaves as green as jade.

The dense branches and leaves blocked out the blazing sun.

But my face still burned up, turning bright red.

That seemingly serious man was backlit, the glow perfectly illuminating his red-tipped ears.

Other than that, he still looked quite serious.

At first I didn't know if I liked him or not, but later I confirmed that I had liked him.

No one can resist passionate love.

I had been trapped in darkness for too long. He was like a blazing fire, coming close to me, igniting me.

At least in that moment, I felt truly alive.

No more family troubles, no more of Cathy's vulgar cursing. It turned out Lucy could also live proudly and openly, like a real person.