Chapter 8

The whole school found out about me and Ethan.

Our homeroom teacher at the time was a very young female teacher. She specifically talked to me, her words all cautioning me that as a girl, I was different from Ethan.

Girls are destined to bear more on their growth journey than boys.

Especially given my family background.

I was extremely grateful to her. She told me clearly that I couldn't take shortcuts, because I had no way out. All my hopes rested on myself.

Every step in life was crucial. I shouldn't get off the train before reaching the final destination.

I kept her words in mind, telling her with tears in my eyes: "Teacher, please believe me. I'm not dating him."

Of course she believed me, because when she talked to me, Ethan had also talked to her.

He was always so unrestrained, with the confidence to speak his mind: "Teacher, don't give Lucy a hard time. I'm the one pursuing her, she hasn't responded. She's very thin-skinned, don't make her cry."

Afterwards, I stopped paying any attention to Ethan.

The summer before senior year was exceptionally long.

On my cousin's recommendation, I went to work a summer job at an arcade in the city.

My cousin was a junior in college then. One of his female classmates was also working part-time there, so we worked together.

We worked 4-5 hours a day and could go home by 8pm.

I didn't expect to see Ethan there.

He wasn't alone. There were three boys and a girl with him, playing arcade games together.

He saw me when I was helping someone exchange game tokens.

He walked over to me, very surprised but also delighted: "Lucy, why are you here?"

The arcade was very noisy and I was busy, so I just smiled vaguely at him: "Part-time job."

He didn't say anything more, probably realizing his question was unnecessary.

The girl who came with him wore a pretty tank top and shorts, with a high ponytail. She ran over happily and linked arms with him -

"Brother, we're out of tokens. Let's exchange some more."

"How much?"

"James and the others need some too. Let's get 500 for now."

That day, they exchanged a total of 1000 dollars worth of game tokens.

I worked part-time at the arcade all summer and only earned 1000 dollars in wages.

After Ethan found out I was working there, he came by often.

At first he came with a group of friends, but later he started coming alone.

I didn't pay much attention to him, so he would wait for me outside when I got off work every day.

My cousin's female classmate even teased me: "Lucy, your boyfriend is quite handsome."

I hurriedly explained with a red face: "It's not like that. We're just regular classmates."

Afterwards I told Ethan: "Don't come anymore."

He said: "It's too late. It's not safe for a girl to go home alone. Let me walk you."

I said I didn't need that. He didn't insist, but asked if I wanted to go see the night view from Ocean Tower.

I said no thanks.

"Then how about browsing the night market nearby?"

He was so annoying, coming every day. Once I caught him squatting by the exit smoking.

Our eyes met. He was startled for a moment, then stood up and put out the cigarette.

I sighed lightly: "I know you guys smoke in secret at school."

He smiled at that, hands in his pockets, and asked me: "Want to go to Ocean Tower today? Or browse the night market nearby?"

That night I figured I had some time, so I went to the night market with him.

He was quite happy, pestering me the whole way, asking what I wanted to eat or buy. He said he'd get it for me.

We ate shaved ice at a stall.

I finally said what I had been wanting to say: "Please don't come anymore. I'm begging you. You're causing me a lot of trouble this way."

"What trouble? I'm not asking you to date me. Can't we just be good friends?"

"We can't even be good friends."

He stared at me intently, his messy long hair revealing a hint of rebelliousness. His voice was also a bit annoyed: "Why not?"

"It's not appropriate. We're different." I said softly.

"How are we different? Am I human and you're not?"

"I don't need friends. I just want to study hard."

"Heh, what kind of talk is that? Even if you dated me, it wouldn't affect you getting into college. I could even supervise your studying."

"Why can't you understand? Stop pestering me from now on."

I was a bit angry. I stopped eating the shaved ice and got up to leave.

Ethan chased after me, following me to the bus stop. He watched me get on the bus, his expression somewhat helpless.

I was really exhausted every day and had no time to deal with him.

After the bus reached the last stop, I still had to go get my bicycle and ride for about 15 minutes to get home.

When I got home, my mom usually wasn't there. I had to feed my dad, check if he had a bowel movement, help turn him over, and give him a wipe down.

After taking care of all that, it was already very late. I still had to wash up, find time to read, and review materials.

My nearsightedness had gotten worse again. I really needed glasses.

I was like a snail carrying its shell on its back, needing to crawl and crawl, moving forward under a heavy burden, to slowly reach where I wanted to go.

Ethan was from another world. He wouldn't understand.

On the last day of my summer job, I rode my bicycle home as usual.

At the entrance to my apartment complex, I saw a man waiting there.

Because it was an old neighborhood, that section by the building entrance had no streetlights. But I recognized him -I'll continue the translation:

his name was Howard, and he was the owner of a mahjong parlor.

I knew everything - not long after my dad's accident, he had become Cathy's lover.

He was married with grown children.

Cathy willingly went with him because he gave her money to spend.

He had given me money to spend too.

Once when I forgot my house key and went to the mahjong parlor to find Cathy, he saw me and smiled: "Lucy's all grown up now. I heard from your mom that you get really good grades. Here, uncle will give you 200 dollars to buy study materials."

I had never called him uncle, nor had I taken his money.

Cathy scolded me for being impolite, saying I was an idiot for not taking money when offered.

I hated Howard. He wasn't a good person. His smile always made me feel uneasy.

So when I saw him at the building entrance that instant, I immediately became wary and didn't approach.

He walked towards me, smiling: "Lucy, come here. Uncle has some living expenses for you."

He took out a wad of cash, moving to hand it to me.

I threw down my bicycle and ran.

I ran so fast, not knowing if he was chasing me or not.

Fear and panic made tears instantly stream down my face.

I ran until I reached the main road outside and crashed into someone. I screamed in terror.

That person grabbed my shoulders and said urgently: "What's wrong, Lucy? What happened?"

It was Ethan.

I stared at him with wide eyes, taking a moment to come back to my senses before crying: "Why are you here?"

"To walk you home. It's so late, I was worried about you going alone."

Only then did I notice there was a taxi parked by the road.

Ethan had been following me for a long time.

Even after I warned him not to pester me, he still came to the arcade every night.

He would wait for me to get off work, let me get on the bus, then take a taxi following behind.

He'd drop me off at the entrance to my neighborhood, then have the driver turn around and go back.

Actually, the road I took home was very safe. There were always people around, even food stalls set up at night.

Only the area right by my building had no streetlights.

If I hadn't run into Howard, there wouldn't have been any danger.

That night Ethan went with me to get my bicycle. Howard was already gone.

I invited him to eat at a roadside food stall.

He was very happy, kept saying the food was delicious. In the end he insisted on paying the bill himself.

Two stir-fry dishes and flatbread, over 30 dollars. He gave the owner 50 and said keep the change.

Then he walked me back home.

At the building entrance, he asked again: "What really happened? Was it really just a cat that scared you?"

I nodded, never telling him what actually happened.

It was too shameful. How could I tell him that my mom's lover had ambushed me outside my home?

To me, Ethan was just an ordinary male classmate after all.

Later he left and I went home.

Before going inside, I was still thinking about how to tell Cathy about this.

She wasn't a good mother, but I believed she wouldn't be so heartless as to ignore this.

But I never imagined that when I opened the door, I would see Howard sitting on our couch smoking.

Cathy was there too, of course.

The weather was hot. The ceiling fan spun with a creaky sound, but the air was still stuffy, permeated with the smell of smoke and an unpleasant odor.

Cathy had just showered. Her hair was still dripping. The tank top stretched tight across her plump arms, her chest spilling out.

She was drying her hair with a towel. When she saw me, she barely raised an eyebrow: "You're back?"

I was honest and introverted.

She had a bad temper and had either hit or scolded me since I was little.

It was she who made me understand that there really are mothers in this world who don't love their children.

She only loved herself, so naturally I didn't love her either.

I had already tried my best to tolerate her, treating her like a stranger.

The neighbors all knew about her affair with the mahjong parlor owner.

I could endure the pointing and whispering, but I couldn't tolerate her bringing him home.

Especially when my dad was still lying in bed.

For the first time, I lost my temper and yelled at them:

"Get out! Both of you get out!"

Cathy was stunned at first. She had always been hot-tempered. Without a word, she threw down the towel and rushed over to shove me: "Who are you yelling at? Telling who to get out?! You little bitch, what's gotten into you? When did you grow such an attitude?"

"I'm telling you to get out! Both of you get out!"

That day, Cathy grabbed my hair and pushed me to the ground, beating me.

Seeing this, Howard came over to pull her off.

He pulled her away, then reached out to hug me. He seemed to be trying to help me up, but his disgusting hands were groping my back.

I kicked at him wildly. He grabbed my ankle.

"Hey, this little girl is hard to discipline."

The two of them against me alone. Later I ran to the kitchen and came out with a knife.

Cathy cursed and swore as she changed clothes and left with Howard.

I cried as I called my aunt, telling her everything that happened.

That night my aunt and uncle both came over.

They took me to confront Cathy at the mahjong parlor in our neighborhood. There was a big scene.

Cathy acted like a shrew, pointing at my aunt and cursing, telling her to take her brother away if she had the ability.

My aunt was shaking with anger. She told Cathy to hurry up and get a divorce. As long as she divorced, we wouldn't need her to take care of my dad. She could do whatever shameless things she wanted without being related to us.

Cathy sneered: "Kicking me out? Fine, give me the house. Take the big one and the little one to your place."

In the end, it was all about that crappy two-bedroom apartment. There were rumors it was slated for demolition and redevelopment.

After the confrontation, as my aunt was leaving she was still cursing: "You want the house but not the people? Dream on! As long as you don't divorce, you have to take care of him. However long he's bedridden, that's how long you'll serve him. When he dies I'll still come looking for you!"

You see, how can this kind of thing be sorted out? Calling my aunt was useless, and reporting to the police was useless too.

The only good thing about making a scene was that Cathy wouldn't easily bring people home anymore.

The bad thing was, she started finding opportunities to curse at me with snide remarks: "Shameless girl. Your Uncle Howard saw you coming home late and kindly went downstairs to meet you. Are you so desperate for a man that you accused him of ambushing you? How much are those two ounces of meat on you worth? Disgusting."

She had said even worse, more vulgar things.

That year I was 17, a thin-skinned girl who broke down multiple times from her cursing.

My dad had only been bedridden for two years, but for a moment I actually hoped he would hurry up and die.

If he died, I could be free.

I could live in the school dorms and never have to come back to see Cathy again.

As soon as that thought occurred, tears streamed down my face. I used a warm towel to wipe my dad's face and hands while repeatedly apologizing: "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry dad, I didn't mean that..."

I had grown up under his care since childhood. He would take me to buy candied hawthorns and eat old-style soup noodles, pick me up from school...

He was just an ordinary, kind-hearted father.

Maybe if a miracle happened, he could even regain consciousness.

Yet I, as his child, had the vicious thought of wishing this paralyzed patient would hurry up and die.

If he died, I wouldn't have to worry during class about whether Cathy had gone home at noon, whether she had fed him water and food, helped him sit up for a bit, or cleaned him if he was incontinent...

There are no filial children by a long sickbed. When it really comes down to it, you realize everyone is just an ordinary person.