Chapter 1

A new neighbor moved in across the hall. She was a fresh graduate from an elite university.

On her very first night, she knocked on my door at midnight.

"Ms. Vance, your footsteps are too loud at night. There’s a strict quiet-hours policy after 10 PM. You shouldn't be walking around so freely."

I stood there, completely stunned, but I still managed to politely tell her that I’d keep it down.

Half an hour later, she knocked again. "Your AC unit is facing my bedroom window. It’s blowing hot air right into my room. You need to move it or shut it off by tomorrow."

I had officially lost my patience. I slammed the door in her face.

I thought that would be the end of it.

But the next morning, I received a formal Cease-and-Desist letter from her lawyer.

0

"Did you get it?"

A young, calm, and slightly arrogant female voice came through the phone.

I squeezed the legal letter in my hand, the sharp edges of the paper digging painfully into my palm.

"Audrey Sterling, what is the meaning of this?"

"It’s simple," she said slowly. "Ms. Vance, I’m just letting you know that you are actively disrupting my life."

"A thirty-page report? A cease-and-desist? Just because I walked inside my own apartment and turned on my AC?"

I could barely believe my ears.

"It’s called noise and thermal pollution," she corrected me.

"Pay me for emotional distress, renovate your apartment according to my standards, and I might consider not taking this to court."

I let out a cold laugh. "And if I say no?"

"Then I’ll see you in court."

"I will also post copies of this report all over the building."

"I’ll make sure every single neighbor knows exactly what kind of person you are."

She hung up.

Listening to the dial tone, my head throbbed.

I’m thirty years old, and this was the first time I’d ever met someone so ridiculously delusional.

I opened the PDF report she had sent me on Snapchat.

Title: *A Detailed Investigation into the Noise and Thermal Pollution Caused by Neighbor Valerie Vance.*

My god. If I didn't know any better, I’d think this was a scientific paper published by some top research institute.

The details inside were even more mind-blowing.

"Issue 1: The sound of your door closing is too loud, causing potential hearing damage to your neighbors."

"Issue 2: Your kitchen vents exhaust air into the common hallway, polluting the shared atmosphere."

"Issue 3: Your Wi-Fi signal is too strong, interfering with my electronic devices."

...

Every single bullet point was accompanied by charts and data measured by various professional instruments.

I took a deep breath and called our HOA office.

"Mr. Higgins, have you guys dealt with the new neighbor across from me yet?"

The manager’s tone was incredibly strained.

"Ms. Vance... you mean... Ms. Sterling?"

"She was out in the hallway today with a lawyer and a couple of technicians. They were measuring decibels, taking photos, and recording when everyone opens and closes their doors. She said she’s making a 'Neighbor Impact Report' for the whole building."

"The community Snapchat group is absolutely blowing up right now!"

My mind went blank.

This wasn't just ridiculous. This girl was out of her mind.